Conversations about God

Brain: Hey Gus.. Gus.. HEY WAKE UP YOU WANKER!

Gus: ::snort:: huh.. Whazaahaafagahgh… ::snore::

Brain: God Dammit….. BOOBS!

Gus: ::snorf:: Whaboobs.. huh… Whaddya want Brain?

Brain: I have a philosophical quandary for you.

Gus: It’s 3:30 in the morning! Can’t this wait until morning?

Brain: No. I’ll make you hungry, or force your bladder to balloon like a bloated carcass if you don’t listen.

Gus: … you fight mean.

Brain: I know. That’s why I’m in charge of this ragtag hodgepodge of tomfoolery.

Gus: Well, get with the talkin’!

Brain: Do you think God exists in a literal sense, or was God’s ascension to the tip of the universal iceberg merely man yearning for an answer to the unknown questions?

Gus: … zzz....zzzz

Brain: Sigh.. OOOOOOH WE’RE HALFWAY THERE… OOOOOH WE’RE LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER

Gus: Blarg! You bastard!

Brain: Answer my question and we can go back to bed.

Gus: Fine.. God cannot be conceptualized by Man. Everything we consider to be God is nothing more than our feeble minds rationalizing the unknown in irrational terms. God cannot exist without man’s desire to believe. Therefore, God only exists within our own limited parameters and understanding. Good Night.

Brain: Wait, I’m not done.

Gus: But I answered your question! Now I’m going to go back to thinking about the cute redhead in the Windows commercials, if you don’t mind.

Brain: Hold on there, Tiger. I have follow up question for you.

Gus: Fine! Hurry it up!

Brain: If God only exists within our own irrational thoughts, what is God’s purpose in the history of humanity?

Gus: Good lord, man. Isn’t it easier to explain lightning striking nearby as God’s anger? Isn’t it easier to explain a soft taco with the meat forming a face of Jesus as God’s Tweet?

Brain: Ok, point taken. We can continue this later.

Gus: Good. Night, Brain.

Brain: One last question!

Gus: What????

Brain: Did you get chocolate in my peanut butter, or did I get peanut butter in your chocolate?