Last post of the day...

For those who have not seen Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, I just started watching it this evening on Hulu.

Gotta say, pretty amusing. Plus it has Felicia Day! Mmm... Felicia Day.. again...

Gus News of the Day: August 30th

Gus is back, with a brand new edition!

..or, umm.. decided to post stupid/horrible news again.

Chris Rock would be disappointed.

The latest toy for girls? The Pole Dancer Doll.

Stay Classy, America.

Brain needs a break

Hey Gus... What are you doing?

Just got done watching Dr Tran. He’s a super action hero, if you didn’t know already.

That’s nice. Shouldn’t you be doing something productive?

Like what? Laborious homework? Laborious chores? Laborious labor longingly languishing low lest Lester learns of leotards with leopard leggings?

Sweet humping whales, what the Hell was that?

That’s what I call “originality,” my friend.

It’s diabolically stupid is what it is.

Why do you always insult me when I do something creative?

That wasn’t creative. You shat all over the English language and dry humped good taste like a horny English Terrier.

Did the dog use a condom at least?

Seriously, you need to stop talking now.

Fine…. What do you want then?

We need to work on our story.

Which one? The Skeletor story where he’s a philanthropist, the one where gigantic cats stomp around destroying Earth in the search for my catnip, or the story we tell the cops about where the bodies are.. oops.. I’ve said too much…

Umm, the first one. What’s the deal with the last one?

…Nothing. Movie I saw once. Starred Tara Reid, I think.

You would never purposely see a movie with her in it.

MST3K needs to do some recent movies.

I know, right? They could so make fun of Battlefield Earth, or Any of the horror movies to come out recently..

Or Schindler’s List.. Hee hee. So many opportunities for humor in that movie.

Ok, seriously. Your humor usually isn’t this bad, or insulting. Something going on that you’re not letting me in on?

…Well, I’m kind of tired. Maybe a little gassy. Do we have any Beano?

Might be up there next to your cologne in the bathroom.

Beano and coffee, friends at last!

So about the Skeletor story. How do you want it to start?

I’m thinking sexy intro with Evil-Lyn stripping in front of-

-Ok, I’m checking out for the rest of the eve. You should call your brother and play some Guitar Hero, since that doesn’t require a brain.

Hey, it’s hard to hit that damn orange button without you! I promise I won’t say anything derogatory or insulting for the next six hours.

Promise?

Promise.

Ok, good. Now what Tool songs do they have on that game?

Parabola, Vicarious and Schism. They really need Hooker with a Penis in this game.

Touché.

Amusing video for the inner geek in all of us

Amusing music video that appeals to the geek in all of us. Well, most of us.

Ok, probably just me.

Plus Felicia Day is adorable. Yet another redhead that needs to meet me.

Mmm.. Felicia Day..

Conversation with my Brain. Needs more Ice Cream.

Hey Brain.

Yes, Gus?

I’m kind of hungry.

Well, why don’t you eat something?

All fine and good, but what do I want to eat?

How about a cold can of beans?

Ooh, like that Rorschach guy from Watchmen? I don’t have a mask though. I suppose I could put a sock over my head and-

Oh shut up. I heard smart writer guys like us eat cold cans of beans.

You want to know who else ate cans of cold beans?

Abe Vigoda?

No! Hitler!

I thought he was a Vegetarian.

Beans are a vegetable, dumbass. Are you drinking or something? You seem highly distracted.

I was contemplating before you so abruptly ruined my train of thought.

You’re always contemplating. “Does God really exist? Is it possible to make a never-ending roll of toilet paper? We need to consider the ramifications of killing everything on earth with lasers. I want to be jabbed with a Q-tip.”

Why do I even bother talking to you?

Technically, you’re not really talking with me. Technically you’re just a thought in my head that-

Oh, Smeg off and go eat your cold pork and beans.

So what were you thinking about this time?

If you must pry..

Oh, I must! I must!

Have you ever considered the thought that maybe, someday, we’ll find a long term girlfriend?

Well, yeah. We’ve been on a lot of dates, but the women are either insane, or fans of country music, or can’t stand football.

Maybe we are being too picky.

I don’t think so. It’s one thing to have different hobbies, but I draw the line at country music.

Perhaps we worry too much about hobbies, and not enough about the person behind the hobbies.

I thought about that too, Brain. The way I see it, if the only thing we have in common is our desire to drink the occasional drink at a local pub, then it isn’t going to work out. I expect more than that when it comes to common themes.

Ok, so the girl who liked football, and was working out, and loved writing and reading..

Never called me back after I called her.

What about the women you’ve dated who have children? Most of them are really attractive, smart, etc..

Children are something I don’t want to deal with right now. With those women, especially since I tend to think long term with my relationships, the two are intertwined. Plus there was that insane one. ::shudder::

So are you saying it’s worthless to even try?

Of course not! I believe we’ll find that special woman soon. I’m in no rush.

Maybe you should stop being a pansy and ask more women out.

Maybe I should stab you with a spork!

Speaking of sporks, I’m hungry. Can we go to KFC?

Not on our diet.

Fine. Can of cold beans then…

Gus News of the Day: August 18th!

Upstanding itizen in Omaha, who was honored by the Sheriff's office as the "Citizen of the Year," arrested for selling drugs to white supremacists.

Sometimes the stories write their own headlines.

District 9 Review

Mild to moderate spoiler review. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

District 9 is good. Is it great? No. But is it worth your ten bucks?

I think it is, for a number of reasons:

1. A sci-fi apartheid, set in the slums of South Africa, where the aliens are treated horribly.
2. A weenie bureaucrat who starts extremely unlikeable, but ends up being a character who you feel genuine empathy towards.
3. Amazing special effects, especially when you consider the small budget.
4. Prawns.
5. Pig Launcher!
6. Extremely violent deaths. In some cases, the death scenes are nearly comical, but when someone’s head explodes like a ripe melon after their head was shocked by a lightning gun, how can you not shockingly chuckle as an audience member?
7. The alien’s eyes. With the prawns being extremely ugly, their eyes needed to show genuine emotion, and they succeeded.

Ok, that’s enough of the list.

So what about the movie?

It’s 1982. An alien ship has decided to plant itself over Johannesberg, South Africa. Nothing comes out of the ship, and eventually humanity breaks into the ship itself.

Inside they find a squalid hell, with aliens living in their own filth. Turns out the prawns are servants of sorts with a hive mind, and their masters died. Without guidance, the prawns are left to fend for themselves.

So the humans decide to bring them down to the surface, and try their best to take care of the aliens.

Humanity, however, is fickle about who they live next to, and in Africa, it is doubly so. The aliens are scrounges, and taken advantage of by the military company MNU, and Nigerians who use a Witch Doctor to try and become like the aliens.

What I find interesting about the initial setup of the movie is the layout as a documentary. It almost feels like a PBS special for a good portion of the film. Sociologists, alien specialists, military minds, politicians, scientists all give their view of what is happening.

So why can’t the aliens leave?

I won’t spoil that, as it is a huge part of the plot. Suffice it to say, it could have worked better, but I’m okay with that.

So who is the bureaucrat weenie?

Wikus something something. His last name is a pain in the ass, and I’m tired and feeling lazy, so if you must know go google it.

Wikus is assigned the task of moving the aliens from their squalid hell to a “nicer” camp outside the city. While there, he discovers alien technology (which is integrated with alien DNA, so humans can’t use the weapons,) and violent prawns who have no desire to leave.

And then all Hell breaks loose.

The last two thirds of the movie are a wild ride, as Wikus transforms as a character being hunted. Along the way, he meets up with two prawns-a father and his son-who simply want to go home.

Together, they try and overcome the MNU, who want so desperately to use the alien technology that they experiment with the prawns, and the Nigerians, who want the same thing.

It is not a typical Hollywood movie ending, which I enjoyed quite a bit.

So did you enjoy it?

Yes. Quite a bit. Science Fiction has fallen on its ass recently (with the exceptions being the Matrix and the latest Star Trek movie) so to see a refreshing take on some clichéd story ideas was invigorating as a sci-fi geek. Neil Blomkamp has a long future in the film industry if this is his initial entry. For those who don’t know, the Halo franchise handed him the keys, thanks to Peter Jackson, but the studios had no desire to hand such a lucrative movie to an unknown director. There was $30 million left before the studios pulled the plug on Halo, so Jackson gave Neil the money and said “go nuts, kid.”

The actor playing Wikus, Sharlto Copley, did an amazing job as his first leading role. He improvised a lot of the lines with the documentary scenes.

So what stopped it from being a great movie?

A couple things.

1. Cinematography. Hollywood needs to get their heads out of their ass and STOP the ShaKEy CamERa. I understand the documentary scenes are meant to feel like a documentary, but for the love of God, why is it when all Hell is breaking loose at the end of the movie, everything is a blurry mess because the camera has to shake?
2. Plot holes. Won’t spoil them here, but there were some I had to question.
3. No character development of any human character outside of Wikus.
4. Occasional pacing issues.
5. Not enough pig launcher.

So go see it if you want to see an original film in a summer of horribleness.

All is quiet on the Geek Front..

Had a nice, busy weekend. Golf, workout, District 9 (review coming tomorrow night, by the way.)

Fairly tired, didn't sleep much, so just posting to say HI! More coming tomorrow.

Gus News of the Day: August 13th

Do you remember when your mom threatened to throw away your action figures if you didn't clean your room?

Remember how angry you were when she followed up on that threat, and you cried and threw a big fit, but then you calmed down, cleaned your room and then you got your toys back?

Do you recollect if you were a child when you had these memories?

Or were you this guy, who pins an "EPIC FAIL" down for the count for numerous reasons?

Ooh, that reminds me, better go display my Boba Fett Slave I Lego ship again..

And the award for "Most Adorable Picture" for August 12th goes to...

Gus News of the Day: August 12th

Florida.

Man has dog. Man lets dog walk around without leash in a park infested with gators.

Park rangers warn man to leash dog. Repeatedly.

Man disobeys.

Dog gets chewed on.

Man mad that there were gators. In Florida.

Gator should have eaten man.

Conversations about God

Brain: Hey Gus.. Gus.. HEY WAKE UP YOU WANKER!

Gus: ::snort:: huh.. Whazaahaafagahgh… ::snore::

Brain: God Dammit….. BOOBS!

Gus: ::snorf:: Whaboobs.. huh… Whaddya want Brain?

Brain: I have a philosophical quandary for you.

Gus: It’s 3:30 in the morning! Can’t this wait until morning?

Brain: No. I’ll make you hungry, or force your bladder to balloon like a bloated carcass if you don’t listen.

Gus: … you fight mean.

Brain: I know. That’s why I’m in charge of this ragtag hodgepodge of tomfoolery.

Gus: Well, get with the talkin’!

Brain: Do you think God exists in a literal sense, or was God’s ascension to the tip of the universal iceberg merely man yearning for an answer to the unknown questions?

Gus: … zzz....zzzz

Brain: Sigh.. OOOOOOH WE’RE HALFWAY THERE… OOOOOH WE’RE LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER

Gus: Blarg! You bastard!

Brain: Answer my question and we can go back to bed.

Gus: Fine.. God cannot be conceptualized by Man. Everything we consider to be God is nothing more than our feeble minds rationalizing the unknown in irrational terms. God cannot exist without man’s desire to believe. Therefore, God only exists within our own limited parameters and understanding. Good Night.

Brain: Wait, I’m not done.

Gus: But I answered your question! Now I’m going to go back to thinking about the cute redhead in the Windows commercials, if you don’t mind.

Brain: Hold on there, Tiger. I have follow up question for you.

Gus: Fine! Hurry it up!

Brain: If God only exists within our own irrational thoughts, what is God’s purpose in the history of humanity?

Gus: Good lord, man. Isn’t it easier to explain lightning striking nearby as God’s anger? Isn’t it easier to explain a soft taco with the meat forming a face of Jesus as God’s Tweet?

Brain: Ok, point taken. We can continue this later.

Gus: Good. Night, Brain.

Brain: One last question!

Gus: What????

Brain: Did you get chocolate in my peanut butter, or did I get peanut butter in your chocolate?

Gus News of the Day: August 10th

Remember all those warnings in "A Christmas Story" about shooting your eye out?

Someone should tell these kids about that.

Can I haz gunz for blind kids?

Gus News of the Day: August 9th

Sometimes, government institutions will raise taxes, or make budget cuts in order to balance their budget.

At least, that's what common sense would dictate.

Not this town.

Maybe Mayor Ralph Becker of Salt Lake City should bust it over to Wendover, or the Idaho border and buy some lottery tickets! BRILLIANT!

Literacy lost out to stupidity

If you are going to protest against something as vital as health care reform in this country, at least have someone proofread your signs beforehand, so you don't look like an asshat. Well, so you look like a lesser form of asshat. You know, those asshats that drink Schlitz in your Mom's basement.

Gus News of the Day: August 8th

Sometimes, being overweight has its positives.

Case in point.

I don't know whether to cry or laugh. Or eat a big sandwich.

Gus News of the Day: August 5th

Two cities. Two unbelievably awesome names.

Town of Wank tells F**king to grow some balls and capitalize on their name.

Now who wouldn't want to live in Wank?

Gus News of the Day: August 4th.

Gonna try posting one idiotic/interesting/funny/smarmy/stupid news article every day, or at least a couple times a week. Probably gonna get most of my links from fark.com.

Creationist Dinosaur park closes. Why does God hate Dinosaurs?

First! Why I kicked WoW in the nards and waved "Bye, suckafish!"

So to start my blog, I thought I would post something fairly serious, something that must be said, something that is ultimately true, but hard to accept. In the end though, it is something that is remarkably enjoyable at the same time.

I apologize in advance if I offend anyone during this mini-rant.

Ok, on with the show.

I am never playing World of Warcraft again.

There. I said it.

There are numerous reasons as to why, and I feel it necessary to list them here, if anything, to display the severity of the situation, and to see if those who fell/are falling under the same circumstances can help themselves before it is too late.

As many of you know, BigRedKitty (AKA Daniel Powell) quit the game back in March because he didn't realize how harmful the game was to his family and his social life. He divorced from his wife recently, and only now does he realize how precious every moment of life is for him and his son.

His abandonment of the game got me thinking about my life, about how much time I have essentially wasted playing a game, destroying my social life, eating away at any sense of normalcy, even sacrificing sleep when I could to get in my homework and WoW at the same time, gaining weight because I wanted to get home from work/school to check into the game..

It also doesn't help that I tend to have a slightly addictive personality, but still, it has become painfully clear it was time to leave.

It wasn't until after I quit the game, talked to old friends I haven't talked to in years, gone out more and visited friends and the occasional bar again, reading a whole lot more, and slowly working on my novel, that I wished I had quit sooner.

Don't get me wrong: I have met some really cool people, and people that I have every intention of keeping in contact with for as long as I can.

But WoW is not a replacement for my social life. WoW is not a replacement for all of my entertainment during downtime. Using it as such only eroded the basic foundations of social interaction, and stymied my creativity.

WoW should not engulf your life. It's a game. Nothing more, nothing less.

So I'm done. ::Uninstall WoW, delete all addons::

As for the less obtrusive reasons for my leaving the game for good.. well.. it's boring now, especially after all these years. Their basic formula for creating the game and keeping it going hasn't changed at all. Their quests, the dungeon system, the daily quest system.. it all leads to the same bloody thing over and over again.

They need to scrap their entire system, because Star Wars: The Old Republic looms in the distance.

Anyways... to those who are still playing: I hope you continue to have lots of fun, and enjoy the game for what it is.

Doors are open!..

And no merchandise yet to show to the general public. Might as well get the Mervyn's "Open, open, open!" women back outside.

And God help you if you understand that reference.

So here's a picture to hold you off, you crazy monkeys. I'm off to sleep.

Gus