Flat Earth Society endorses all of the GOP Candidates

The Flat Earth Society, a ragtag group of conspiracy theorists who believe the earth is flat, endorsed every single GOP candidate still running for President of the United States.

An example of what the Flat Earth Society considers the earth to look like. Really.

A statement on their website reads, "When it comes to our beliefs that the world is flat, our society depends on a complete lack of evidence, gigantic gaps in logic and a steadfast refusal to accept scientific reasoning.  Like our society, the remaining candidates running for the Republican nomination deserve our respect and admiration for their steadfast ability to stick their heads in the sand and hide from the truth. As such, we are endorsing all candidates left in the race.  Like our society, they have shown a great respect for ignoring scientific and economic evidence when it comes to issues such as climate change, bringing back the gold standard, and reviving a stagnant middle class.  By endorsing all of the candidates, we hope they will highlight the importance of showing the rest of the world that the earth is, in fact, flat.  We hope the eventual nominee will remember our endorsement when they take office in 2013."

When asked about the endorsement, the remaining candidates had differing responses.  Romney contradicted himself when answering the question.  Romney: "Though I believe the earth is a sphere, I can see the importance of showing other sides of an argument.  So, you know, if we can prove the earth is flat that would be great too.  There's one thing I believe, and that is that the earth may be flat when it's politically convenient....I mean, I'll release a statement later about this."  Romney was then pulled away by one of his handlers.

Gingrich was far more emotional with his response.  "How dare they question my marital habits!" Gingrich said in a burst of anger.  When the confused reporter mentioned his question had nothing to do with his three marriages, Gingrich called the reporter a "liberal jerkwad," and stormed off to go meet his mistress for lunch. 

Rick Santorum was happy to have the endorsement.  "Frankly, science has gotten its greedy hands into all of our beliefs," he said.  "I believe in Intelligent Design, and I also believe that the earth is flat.  Science needs to get its mitts out of religion and allow us to believe in the nonsensical ramblings of people who were around during the time when Jesus rode dinosaurs."

Ron Paul was the only one who rejected the endorsement outright, saying it was a states issue to decide whether the earth is flat our spherical.