Obama doesn't mention Santa Claus in latest speech

Canadian police file picture, arrested for DUI in 2007

In a speech given to adults concerning the importance of family during the holiday months, President Obama forgot to mention Santa Claus.

"As a reminder, with the economy still struggling, it is best to remember how important family is during these troublesome times," Obama said during a recorded speech to families in need.  "Always donate your time and goodwill to not only your family, but to those who may not be as fortunate as you.  Everyone have a happy holiday season!" 

Immediately reporters seized on the lack of mentioning Santa Claus.

"It's reprehensible that President Hussein Obama would forget to mention the holy man himself, Santa Claus," Rush Limbaugh warbled during his own radio show. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that Obama doesn't believe in Santa Claus!  We can't have a black...I mean, a President who doesn't believe in Santa Claus!"

Glenn Beck provided his own theory during his radio show.  "Obama killed Santa Claus," Beck said between bouts of crying.  "He killed Santa Claus when he killed the free market with his health care plan!"

Despite the faux-controversy, most people did not seem worried about the omission in the speech.

"I'm fine with it," Alex Kingston, a 29-year old from Austin, TX told an ABC reporter.  "Santa never got me anything I wanted anyways.  Always damn socks."

Others were not so sure.

"I can't support a President who doesn't believe in Santa," Jerry Hauganuss said during a survey.  "I mean, what's next?  Not believing in a bicameral legislature and a judicial branch of government?"

When contacted for questions concerning the controversy, Santa Claus himself had a short and explicit answer.

"I don't give two flying fucks what President Obama believes," Mr. Claus said, annoyed by the whole issue.  "I've got shit to do, and the last thing I need are some damn stupid people making an issue out of nothing and wasting my time with annoying phone calls.  Now, goodbye!"

Also of note, Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich also failed to mention Santa Claus in speeches given during the holiday season.