I've come to accept a couple pretty reliable facts/philosophies in life, along with some prophecies I've stumbled onto. I've decided to share them with you, the audience, in list form. Everyone loves lists!
If there is a God, it doesn't give a shit anymore about its creation.
Religion gives you values, morals, and an in some rare cases, a superiority complex. Also Herpes.
Speaking of herpes, STD's aren't funny, unless you believe that the planet Mercury is full of the Clap instead of metal.
Music is paramount to human happiness.
George Lucas always sucked ass at writing, and got lucky with the first movies.
YOU SHALL NOT PASS.
500 channels of television is 500 channels of utter crap.
The Daily Show, Colbert Report, and nature shows are about all that are worth watching.
Risk is still the greatest board game out there.
Dogs, though fun, still have nothing on cats and wombats.
Heh, chinchilla...hehe.
Bacon is tasty.
So are artichokes.
And good coffee.
Sleep is a necessary evil, despite my best efforts to make it not so necessary.
Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, unless someone stole your eyes and replaced them with coal. Then everything is horrible.
The world needs people who promote humor. Humor drives humanity to its finest social moments.
Fight Club is one of the greatest movies for men of my generation.
Just because you wrote a big-ass book centuries ago doesn't mean you are a great writer.
Zombies are funny. They won't be so funny when become real. (Note: I fully expect the breakouts to occur at Walmart. You heard it here first).
Tool will retire after their next album is released.
This list ends here.
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