Fun People in Mot City, December 14th!

                Today’s Fun People in Mot City is brought to you by Brule’ Vignion Bottled Water!  Brule’ Vignion: Water for the Rich Asshole in All of Us.

                Today’s Fun Person is Gallus, a Croc illegal wrestling manager!  Gallus has been managing illegal wrestlers now for over twenty years!  Gallus was at one time one of the most prominent and respected illegal wrestlers in the city, winning nearly 95% of his matches.  Unfortunately he was targeted by a Crime Lord one day after losing a match, losing both his lower limbs in a terrible injury.  Since illegal wrestling bans all prostheses, Gallus retired and took up managing.  He was nice enough to speak to our intrepid journalist!  Here is what he had to say.

                “So you want to know my story, eh?  I’ll tell you what I tell everyone else: this job bites Gator ass.  You have constant gang and mob pressure, as betting on illegal wrestling is what makes the mob its most money, right?  I get asked on a daily basis if I would be willing to have one of my wrestlers throw the match, which is just fucking ridiculous!  Yet if I don’t do it occasionally I get threatened.  It’s just sad, right?

                “It never used to be like this.  This profession used to be proud, filled with the best fucking athletes this city could scrounge up.  It was about the thrill!...Now it’s just about survival.  It’s about the show.  It’s about…Fuck I dunno, it just ain’t what it was.

                “Ah shit, I’m sorry.  You probably came here for a light story, some small tale about something I’ve done, right?  Well Hell, I guess I'm just not good with stuff like that, right?  Sorry about that, but I gotta go tape up some Croc claws to get them ready.  Listen, I’ll have security walk you out.  Survive Well, okay?”

Fun Fact about Mot City, December 10!

Today’s Fun Fact about Mot City is brought to you by Pfist Pork Farm and Pfarmaceutical Laboratory!  Get your mind-altering drug-addled pork loin for half-off when you say the secret code to the cashier!  The secret code is “GNARWHAL BACON.” 

Today’s Fun Fact comes to you from Bryce Vanburen, Owner and barkeep at the Bloated Carcass bar, an establishment off of 27^th Street and Fie Place in Upper Mot’s 93^rd district!  Bryce has owned this establishment since he won it during his years as an avid gambler over illegal wrestling.  Bryce was kind enough to let us know how he has been able to stay in business for fifteen cycles despite numerous attempts by outside parties to shut him down:

“Okay, so you want to know some fun fact?  Why do you call them fun facts?  You are just asking me questions.  Shouldn’t you call this electronic coffee book you’re working on, ‘The People of Mot City?’  Just a thought.  Anyway…Listen, I’ve survived because I’ve paid the right people to keep their mouths shut.  I also stopped gambling after taking over, so I wouldn’t risk putting this place on as a bet.  I also get good synthesized alcohol, brewing some myself below the bar here, and buying others on the black market.  The real stuff I have is mostly watered down, which most patrons don’t mind.  Shit, most of them are just happy to have a drink to forget they live here, so I’m happy to provide them with the opportunity to get sloshed and forget their troubles for a few minutes.  Now I have to get back to work.  We done here?”  

Fun Facts about Mot City, December 8

                Today’s Fun Facts About Mot City is brought to you by Jaeg Soda: It’s Not Poison, We Promise!  Today’s Fun Fact comes to us from a meeting with one of the Adult Club owners in Upper Mot!  His name is Preat, and he’s a Croc!  He is a forty-year old Croc who runs the (club name removed for everyone's safety: ed) with all the scars to prove it!  We asked him what fun fact he would like to bring up for this coffee table book, and here was his response. 

                “You want what now?  A fun fact about Mot City?  Fun?  What’s wrong with you?  There’s nothing fun about living in this shit-stain of a city.  Eat or be eaten.  Gun down or be gunned down.  Fun ain’t what we do here, you understand me?  It’s hard living, right?  We ain’t got nothing here except what we earn, and that aint’ much.  Fun isn’t in our vocabulary, see?  So here’s what you are gonna do.  You’re gonna let everyone know who buys your shitty coffee table book that it’s a squalid Hell we live in with no fun, you see?  And if I buy a copy of your book and you don’t have this quote in there, I am going to hunt you down and eat your intestines.   So you take your little electronic recorder, and your fancy ass camera, and get the Hell out of my face before I get really angry!”