Terminator: Dark Fate Review (Spoilers)

I'll be honest on this. I was burned out on Terminator movies. Terminator 3 was mediocre at best. Salvation was both a shit show and mediocre at the same time, and Genysis was just a godawful attempt to reboot the franchise.

So what about Dark Fate? Where does it place in the echelon of  Terminator films? Is it as bad as Genysis? As good as the first two? Or somewhere in the middle? The answer is of course complicated. But first, a small rant.

David Goyer Should Be Unemployed

I'd like to kick off my review with a hot take real fast. David Goyer should not be allowed to write anything anymore in Hollywood. Or at his local theater. Or do beat poetry. The only award he should ever be considered for is the 1st Annual Stanley Tucci Look-alike Contest held at the Saturn Private Club in Pasadena, CA on December 5th.

I mean, look at this track record.

So much awfulness. 

There are some decent movies in there, but overall his stench is covered up in a number of movies by solid directors (Guillermo delo Toro, Christopher Nolan), or he only offered story beats instead of the whole script (Johnathan Nolan wrote the script for The Dark Knight, for example).

David Goyer sucks, and yet he keeps getting writing gigs. He must have Epstein-levels of blackmail in Hollywood, because that's the only explanation for why he keeps getting hired. 

Okay, now that that's out of the way...

Out with the Old, In with the Old

Dark Fate has some tough shoes to fill. It attempts to reboot the franchise, essentially ignoring everything that happens after Terminator 2. It tried to find convergence with the old standbys of the franchise by bringing back Linda Hamilton and Schwarzenegger with a younger cast, a stronger Terminator, and an even more convoluted timeline (more on the timeline thing in a bit). 

Bringing back Sarah Connor and the T-800 is risky, but it mostly works as characters. Linda Hamilton is a complete badass. Schwarzenegger is Schwarzenegger as the retired Terminator Carl who decided to sell drapes and start a family of sorts, even if some of the comedy is forced. 

For the New Kids on the Block, Mackenzie Davis shines as Grace, an enhanced human sent from the future. Natalia Reyes is fine as Dani, the next savior of mankind. Gabriel Luna is okay as the new Terminator, but nothing more than that - mediocre. This has been a problem for every Terminator since 3. I get it's hard to replace both Schwarzenegger and Robert Patrick, but there's no defining moment that sticks out for this new Terminator. We all remember the terror on Linda Hamilton's face as Schwarzenegger pulls the gun out of his jacket in 1, or carves out his eye in the bathroom. We all reminisce over Robert Patrick driving the semi-truck down the irrigation ditches, or when he wags the finger at John and Sarah Connor near the end of 2. There's nothing remarkable about Gabriel Luna's portrayal or character. 

"Hey man, good destruction! What say we go get a taco?"

As for the story, the basic premise is there's a new bad AI in Town - Legion - who has the same idea as Skynet (which doesn't exist in this timeline, but does because of - well shit, we will go into that shortly), which is to annihilate mankind's resistance by going back in time to kill their leader. Dani plays mankind's savior in this timeline. And just like that timeline, the new Terminator is defeated by a power core from a future Terminator sent back to protect them - though in this case it's not a Terminator, but Grace, the enhanced human. 

I agree with my wife on something that's bugging me about this basic recycled plotline. David Goyer (ugh) could have had Dani be a future scientist who helps create the enhanced humans, or a computer engineer who creates a virus that affects Legion's communication array, allowing humanity to do surprise attacks on Legion facilities. But no, it's the same "Gotta go kill mankind's future Jesus, lol" plotline. Combine that with recycling the kill method from Terminator 3, it's clear the writers weren't keen on going too bold with new ideas. 

Despite the flaws, I actually enjoyed this movie, and it is easily my third favorite Terminator movie. Remember though, the bar after 1 and 2 is very, very low. 

Hollywood, Jai Courtney isn't going to happen. Stop trying to make it happen.

I Am Legion?

Replacing Skynet with Legion was a bold move, but fails in its regard to make us fear for the future. Remember Kyle Reese in Terminator 1 going on and on about his experience and knowledge dealing with Skynet and the Terminators? You pick up on the dread he felt, the frenzy of his emotions as he tries to protect Sarah from Skynet. For as much as the Terminator is the bad guy, without Skynet there is no story. In 2, the plot is about destroying Skynet. We already understand why John, Sarah, and the T-800 need to do so thanks to the setup from 1. 

Legion has no build up. We don't know anything about Legion, aside from it's an AI gone rogue. The movie's future scenes offer nothing new in terms of enveloping us in the fear that our characters should face. Think back to Terminator 2 when Sarah dreams of nuclear armageddon. Remember how that affected her, leading her to try and kill Miles Dyson. That scene is missing in this movie. Legion is just a generic AI used in cyberwarfare. And.. that's about all we know about it. 

Skynet was something to fear. Legion is not, because we aren't provided a reason to fear it aside from the new Terminator. 

What Timeline is this? 

As for this movie's timeline... it doesn't make sense. I understand time traveling in movies can operate under their own rules, but having a Terminator that was already sent by Skynet to kill John Connor before Skynet is destroyed in 2, it's just a bullshit excuse (thanks Goyer) to bring back Schwarzenegger. Think about it. A Terminator from a future that doesn't exist anymore was sent back in time to kill John Connor after they had already destroyed Skynet. 

Wat. 

And this is my biggest beef with this movie. The blending of two separate futures into one story doesn't work, and feels forced. Hell, Legion calls its hunting machines Terminators. Why? Because naming them something else would be a different franchise! 

And I'm fine with the idea of creating a new AI. I'm okay with Linda Hamilton playing a role in its future. A storyline where she protects a future scientist that reminds her of her son (who died from cancer, or hell, is still alive) from a new human hunting robot would make for a great story. Maybe she failed in raising or protecting John after Skynet is destroyed, and sees Dani as a way to right her wrongs. 

But that's not what we got. Overall, the action was good. The special effects were good. But the plot and screenplay let this movie down. It could have been a fresh re-start for the franchise, but based on box office receipts, this movie will disappear like Carl's drape company. 

...At least until someone pays David Goyer more money to write another Terminator script.